On Tree Roots and Crow's Nests

Hey Raven,

So I loved telling you a story the other day, but today I wanted to take a quick break from writing to say something a bit less fictional.

In 4 days our roommate Crow is moving to Seattle to pursue his dream of not shoveling snow every winter. And probably some other dreams too. It's been a really rough week for me and for a lot of reasons it is a difficult transition to face. Crow has been a good friend to me since very early in my college life and a big part of my life since. He's been my roommate for 2 years post college and we lived in the same dorm for most of my 4 years of college as well. It's going to be very difficult losing someone who has been a friend and a constant presence in my life for so long.

It's also, I think the beginning of the end of an era. The era of post college, pre-Adult life. I've lived with friends a lot in the last few years. I've worked odd jobs. I've puttered around trying to find a place that I wanted to be. To settle. I'm not sure I've found the place, but I have found the profession and am taking more aggressive, permanent steps towards work in that profession. The next 2 to 4 years will be spent pursuing my future profession, living where I must to do that and living with friends who can help me shoulder the economic burden of schooling, work, and living a life that doesn't drive me mad or to exhaustion. After that will come settling and finding a place to sink some roots. The idea, while exciting and appealing, is also terrifying because it means big changes, bigger decisions, and a level of Adultness that I don't feel myself ready for just yet.

I hope the next few years will bring me to a point where I am ready, but I think most changes push themselves on us before we really feel prepared for them. I know I didn't feel prepared to live far away from home for college. I didn't feel prepared to live abroad in country where I would rarely use my native language. I didn't feel ready to graduate or to find a way to life on my own. I certainly didn't feel ready for my first or second job (or a few of the jobs that came in between and after). But I also know that all those experiences were (for the most part) very good ones. I loved my life at college. I loved living abroad. I loved speaking only Spanish for days and months on end. I loved living independently and working hard at jobs that challenged me. I know, when the time comes, I'll love planting some roots and settling into a life that will challenge me in new ways.

I am also really, really looking forward to not moving once a year. Every. Single. Year.

Goodbye Crow. I hope you read this when you've gotten to Portland (like you promised you would) and I hope you know that both Raven and I miss you and have loved living with you. You're pretty much one of a kind. And if you don't keep in touch I will hunt you down.

It's a hard emptiness to face, we are all moving forward to great things. And less snow.

~ Owl